Recently our friend Merriah Eakins of team Flew-Id sent us a link to a certain classified ad, listing a rig and a main for sale. This ad is almost as funny as the DamnYouAutoCorrect.com website.
That said, we got permission from the author to post it again here on the blog.
By Lee Kinsher.
I’m frightened to be selling this, for fear of making the rig mad, but I must…
This rig has no date of manufactuer, it just always “has been”.
Every Saturday night the rig disappears for hours on end and shows up the next morning smelling like hookers and cheap cigarettes.
The rig never goes to church, for fear of catching fire.
Once I saw the rig out with some friends of mine, so I sent it a txt, but it said it was at home sick, wtf?
It stole my last three girlfriends.
Ward Hessig saw it and debated switching to UPT.
Two tandem students got pregnant from rubbing against it in a plane.
PD tries to put logos of THIS rig on their canopies.
It beat Airspeed, but got disqualified because there was only one member on the team.
Charlie Sheen asks it what’s going on on the weekends. It rescued 5 children from a burning orphanage… then found them a home with rich parents.
Falcons ask it for swooping advice.
It made it through the first 3 rounds of the NFL draft picks, but doesn’t know what the NFL is.
It’s got weird markings or tattos that say some shit about UPT V3 and scars on both sides from knife carvings that say Micron. I’ve got no idea what that means… probably has something to do with the cult it started in Texas.
How about that – it’s the friggin Chuck Norris of rigs!
And as far as we know, it’s still for sale. Get in touch with Lee in a hurry so that he can finish the transaction and take your money in time for the Christmas boogies.
For all the dirty details of the rig, please visit the original ad here and check out pictures here.