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It’s OK to Feel Nothing When Someone You Love Dies

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Written by Lara

People dying sucks. It hurts and they’re gone and you can’t bring them back and you’ll never get to hug them again. Sometimes it takes all you have to not cry for just fifteen minutes a day.

And then sometimes you feel absolutely nothing at all.

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The site What’s Your Grief — besides being an awesome resource for all things grief — has a really good article if this is you.

Feeling Nothing During Grief: The disorienting experience of emotional numbness

The emotional numbness sometimes experienced in grief can feel especially disturbing because after a death you expect to feel so much. You might wonder, “What is wrong with me?!?! Why don’t I feel anything?!? Maybe I’m not a human being at all. Oh no, what if I’m a sociopath?!? Or a robot?!?” Feeling nothing during grief is alienating and isolating because everyone else seems pretty in touch with their feelings. You know you’re sad about the death, but you can’t actually access the emotions and so you feel different than others grieving the death.

Give it a read, and maybe check out the rest of the site as well. And know that you’re not alone.



  • But I’m not feeling anything. At all. No other emotions. And I’m. It grieving…
    My grandfather is about to die and I literally feel nothing. All I said when my mother told me was “oh”, then I cracked a few jokes to lighten the mood.
    I know he is dying. I knew he was going to die- well… sort of. Ish.
    Anyway, I don’t feel sad, I’m not in pain, I’m not grieving, I’m just “alright, yeah he’s dying. Kk.”

    • Sounds familiar my grandparent died unexpedtly last month and when my mom called me and told me i felt nothing i was actually trying to sound sad over the phone but that was about it. Even at the wake and funeral i didnt cry or feel sad i just relfected upon the awesome shit my grandfather had done with his life and i felt happy for him

What do you think?