Oh boy, I can’t wait to see what kind of search results we will get from this post title down the road!
All kidding aside, Canadian jumper Keith Charabaruk is putting up for sale a carefully crafted assembly of of the toolkit he used to successfully recover from his recent “femuring”. If you (or your friends) are into rapid downsizing or some other tried and trusted methods of denting the planet, please pay close attention to this bargain deal. You can now get those items for only the cost of the gas it will take Keith to deliver them to you – or for the cost of shipping. Just remember that Canadian bit when you calculate how many liters of gas he’s going to need to get all those kilometers to your house.
This ad was put up in a group on Facebook that has to do with selling gear. It is a closed group, but you can put in a request to be added if used skydiving gear is your thing.
For Sale: Femur Luxury Home Comfort Care Kit!
Price: you pay my gas to bring it or shipping whichever you prefer.
This amazing kit comes complete with the only breakfast you can afford if like me you don’t have disability insurance (or it doesn’t cover skydiving like 99% of them).
This gently used shower bench will make you feel more human by giving you the ability to clean yourself rather than relying on an angry loved one who resents the fact that you hurt yourself jumping despite the fact they didn’t want you doing it to begin with. The backpack along with the thermos you will need to get yourself, will allow you to bring things like hot coffee or cold milk from one room to another because your hands are full with the crutches seen in the bottom of the picture.
And men (sorry ladies I don’t have your version) the bedside urinal has been rinsed several times so that you can use it right away. If conveniently located on your night stand this will save you several painful trips to the toilet in the middle of the night when the crazy pain meds force you to piss every hour on the hour. Holding an amazing 1.2 litres this wonderful design will keep you horizontal until your cat creeps up on you and you spill the contents all over your side of the bed.
Edit* I forgot to mention the grabber tool! Super handy when you cant bend over due to swelling. It also saves you from having to sheepishly ask those able bodied people around you to pick up your keys, or urinal.
Please folks rush your training, don’t listen to others, and downsize as quickly as possible so that like me, you too can help someone else when they need it most.
Keith kindly gave his permission to repost this, with high hopes the items will go on to a good home. We are working to bring you the details of how the femur broke, which apparently include an angry cop that refused to take his DeLorean up to 88 mph by the end of the parking lot, and MORE. Stay tuned.