News Weather Hold

Women’s Health – for skydiving chicks

A very important Skydiving Chick Health Announcement:

  • Have you ever gone low?
  • Do you occasionally land on your butt? Face? Anything but your feet?
  • Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive in those big-ways?
  • Are you at your wits end trying to get that new canopy in the bag?
  • Do you on occasion funnel an exit or brainlock?
  • Did your jumpsuit unexplainably shrink just around the ass last time you washed it?
  • Do you feel like the walls are closing in on you in the tunnel?
  • Are you afraid to ask other people to jump with you?

If you answered yes to ANY of these questions, IMMEDIATELY see your friendly DZ bartender and ask them about Margaritas.
Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your skydiving abilities. Margaritas (or just straight up Tequila) can help ease you out of your shyness and onto those big loads with the cool kids. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regular regimen you can overcome any obstacles preventing your skydiving carer from taking off.

Advertisement
Sky families are the best families. | http://blueskiesmag.com/shop/sky-family-stickers/

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the pst and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living – with Margaritas.

Disclaimer: Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Skydiving chicks who are knocked up or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, those who would like to be knocked up or nursing are encouraged to go big.

Side effects may include:

– Dizziness, nausea and vomiting
– Incarceration
– Erotic lustfulness
– Loss of motor control, clothing, money and virginity
– Table dancing, inappropriate creeping and/or head-down dirt diving.
– A desire to sing Karaoke

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you are a shit-hot skydiver when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may make male skydivers seem a lot more attractive than they are.

Please share this with other skydiving chicks who may need Margaritas – and we look forward to seeing you at the next Rodriguez Brothers initiation ceremony.

Photo by TheCulinaryGeek – http://flic.kr/p/8JCtQL

3 Comments

What do you think?