By Mike Shatalov
10. It’s a new lineset, the canopy just doesn’t fly right!
9. I was just practicing a new turn/trying something new.
8. Didn’t get laid/got laid too much last night.
7. The wind pushed the top skin of my canopy causing me to sink in the turn/move off course.
6. My chest strap was so long it created extra drag.
5. I was laughing too hard after watching Ian Drennan face plant.
4. Man, i caught a thermal at like 1000 feet, that threw my turn way off and caused me to vertical.
3. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus into my eyes.
2. I had an extra serving of the weak sauce with my steak last night.
1. I just got scared.
Got a better excuse for your lame swoop? Don’t be greedy—add it to the comments and share the excuses.
Loading ...
What about my shirt wasnt tight enough? Or, I saw Jay Mo do it so I thought I could…
The snow drift was deeper in that spot and sucked my feet in…
what about, could not pick up my flailing sausages. Right Shatalov?
Yesterday a Ranch hand–who will remain nameless–popped out of his turn, leveled out waaay high, and yelled loudly enough for everyone on the deck to hear, “F*#@ing Neptune!”
Yeah. Uh-huh. It was the altimeter’s fault.
my fucking newton sight blocked my vision
Rarified air molecules.